Mork alive, wot’s dat smell? Is dat zoggin’ Runt’erd back again with ‘is stoopid soopa-grots? I told ‘im last time that I don’t want ‘im giving any o’ my runts funny ideas. Find dem ‘oomies and get ‘em to shoo ‘im away, ‘is smell always sticks around you boyz an’ dem funny new Doks are sick o’ replacin’ you.
Welcome back to ‘Ere We Go, our regular feature looking at the greatest, greenest things coming soon to the 41st Millennium. Last time we caught sight of what passes for a doctor among the Beast Snaggas, and this week we’re sticking with the science theme by checking in with the only Ork who’s ever heard of behavioural psychology.
Zodgrod Wortsnagga has always had some funny ideas,* but by far his most outlandish is that the humble, downtrodden grot could be trained and enhanced into a productive member of Ork society. It’s definitely a strange theory, one for which he is mercilessly derided by his fellow greenskins, but perhaps strangest of all is that he’s right.Through a combination of shiny objects, enticing fungal treats, and a few vials of the Painboys’ ‘special brew’, Zodgrod succeeded in creating a new breed of ‘super runt’, possessed of greater strength, intelligence, and frankly alarming levels of problem-solving ability.
Unfortunately, his fellow Snakebites were not so open to new ideas and continued to use Zodgrod’s special Gretchin as footstools, snacks, target practice, and whatever else their fancy took. This came to a head when his tribe’s Big Mek started firing the super runts through his shokk attack gun, ostensibly to ‘get ‘is eye in’, and the irascible Runtherd snapped.
The nearby Orks were highly impressed at how Zodgrod had managed to crunch the Mek down small enough to be launched through his own gun, but not impressed enough to save him from exile along with his surviving grots. Surprisingly, this turned out to be the best thing for the Runtherd, as now he embraces the freebooting lifestyle and sells the services of his powered-up grots to the highest bidder.
Perhaps the first thing you notice about Zodgrod is his wild crop of hair, and you might be thinking that Orks don’t usually have hair. You’d be right there, as it’s actually just stapled onto his head – just in case the thing with the Gretchin didn’t convince you of how out-there this Runtherd is. It’s also a great call-back to his original appearance all the way back in 1994, where he had a wild mohawk of epic proportions.
The teef gained from selling out his surprisingly effective services also helped him pick up a custom-built grabba stikk, affectionately named Grabzappa, which is just the thing for smacking a wild-eyed grot back into line when they start having a few too many bright ideas.
Oh, and in case you were wondering if he’s the only Snakebite Character arriving in the new codex, he’s definitely not. After all, the squig-riding side of the Beast Snaggas can’t just have a few Nobs on Smasha Squigs (which we saw during Warhammer Fest Online) leading them around, can they?
* Which is something of a given for any Ork who volunteers to spend their time with Gretchin.