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  • A Zero-Star Review of Blight City – The Unbelievably Horrific Home of the Skaven

A Zero-Star Review of Blight City – The Unbelievably Horrific Home of the Skaven

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The imminent arrival of Battletome: Skaven – which is available to pre-order now – heralds a time of great expansion for everyone’s favourite verminous fiends, swarming through the realms in their never-ending quest for food and power. In fact, some of them seem remarkably eager to leave their home of Blight City behind, so we sent some investigators to find out why it has such a bad reputation. 

Blight City Postcard

We’ll warn you now: you might want to book your next holiday elsewhere!

History

The origins of Blight City are hard to pin down, as every one of the Great Clans claims credit for founding it. Rumours abound that an even more ancient skaven city, drifting through the space between realms following the destruction of its own world, came to rest on a colossal warpstone deposit stuck in a gap between the Mortal Realms.Whatever the origin, the city is known to date back to the Age of Myth, offering aspiring historians a limited window into early skaven civilisation. Alas, few answers can be found within the city itself, as the architects of constant industrial upheaval pay little regard for the antiques they trample on their way to building yet another warpstone workshop.

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A cheerful disregard for health and safety regulations collapses many of Blight City’s teetering spires almost as soon as they’re built, posing constant hazards for the native population and intrepid visitors alike. While this constant cycle of rise and fall ensures the city is never short of new sights, it makes planning excursions impossible as shifting landmarks ensure directions rarely stay accurate for more than a week.

Amenities

Public transport leaves a lot to be desired, as the skaven see little value in helping anyone but themselves navigate the city’s twisting warrens. Despite this, gnawholes – crude gateways to the rest of the Mortal Realms – litter the city and allow daring explorers to day trip wherever they desire, provided they’re careful not to emerge under rivers of lava or into the vacuum of space.

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Finding something to eat in Blight City is either very easy, or very hard – depending on how willing you are to eat rat meat. Large portions of the local diet consist of anyone lower down on the social ladder, and the desire to ascend above tomorrow’s menu forms much of your average skaven’s ambition. 

Accommodation

Thanks to an apocalyptic 26-year civil war that raged between the Great Clans, places to stay are abundant throughout the sprawl of Blight City. Despite a population numbering in the billions, a high rate of mortality keeps vacancies open, and many residents are only too eager to welcome strangers into their stygian dens.

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Recently, a gnawhole accident involving an ambitious up-and-comer from Clans Moulder opened a portal directly beneath the seas of Shyish, flooding huge areas of Blight City with zombie-infested waters. Despite opening up pleasantly cool shorelines in the otherwise foetid city, the threat of undead attack rules out beachfront properties from the holiday market.

Things to Do

Spending even a scant moment in Blight City is fraught with danger, as the skaven manage to be even more hostile to outsiders than they are to themselves. Any excursion should first seek the blessings of the Great Horned Rat, their representative amidst the Gods of Chaos. Though this will do little to protect careless travellers, it’s still an important part of the local culture and should be respected. 

Recommended sights include the chambers of the Council of Thirteen, which are well worth repeat viewings as the council’s membership changes with alarming frequency. The workshops of the Clans Skryre are also unmissable for technology enthusiasts, with new warpstone contraptions rolling off the production lines daily in preparation for an upcoming internecine war with the Clans Pestilens

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Although Blight City offers adventurers a massive, ever-changing landscape to explore, with a unique culture and vibrant history, its spectacular lethality and almost entirely skaven-based cuisine crush any hopes of a relaxing holiday destination. As the warren of a greedy, vicious faction of crazed inventors and back-stabbing social climbers, it serves its purpose tremendously, but for anyone else it might just be the single worst place in the Mortal Realms.

Blight City Rating

If you still plan to get cosy with the clawpacks, pre-order Battletome: Skaven now and prepare your own verminous forces for a campaign of carnage across the Mortal Realms.