The Gloomspite Gitz will be getting a new army book soon, which can only mean trouble for the Mortal Realms. But what is it like to be a Git in a world of daemons and draconith? We interviewed one to find out the latest lore…
Alright ’umies, listen up. You’ve ‘eard all sorts about what’s goin’ on in da Mortal Realms, but you ain’t ‘eard what’s goin’ on wiv us, da grots! To educate you ignorant lot, some of us ladz have got together to tell you a thing or two about what it's like to be one of da Gloomspite Gitz in da Era of da Beast.
Let’s get one thing straight right away. We ain’t Kruleboyz. Sure, they’re dead kunnin’ like us, but they’re also big and lanky – and dat just ain’t natural. Those gitz’re always stuffin’ us in cages and pokin’ us wiv sticks, but we get our own back. Da bosses already came up wiv some well clever schemes for gettin’ one over on ‘em, you’ll see.
You gotta remember, grots can stab stuff as good as any orruk. We just makes sure da thing we’re shankin’ don’t see us first. Dat’s called strategy. We’ve even come to a kind of understandin’ with Kragnos. Sure, he still steps on us sometimes, but after thinkin’ it through, he’s not much different from da Bad Moon. They both go a bit mad and rampage around – one on da ground, one in da sky.
Dat said, when Kragnos was going real crazy, Skragrott da Loonking had to whack him with load of fallin’ loonstone and give him a proper time-out. Dat’s called leadership. After he calmed down, Skagrott whipped up a scheme and got ‘im to team up with Gordrakk, and dey both stomped all over dat big ’umie city by da ocean.
This ‘armonious partnership has lead to a big renay… rennee… er, a big revival of gittish kultur everywhere. Da Jaws of Mork are back, a massive Squigalanche following da Overbounder. He’s a Loonboss ridin’ two prize squigs, Gobbit an’ Chompa, and trying his best to work out how to jump over da Bad Moon.* Squillions of squigs is bouncin’ after ‘im, smashin’ everything to bits.
Da Grimscuttle are a bunch of spider bovverers over in Shyish. They’re up to some right nasty stuff involvin’ Arachnaroks. Last I ‘eard, one of their stalktribes fed a whole coven of bloodsuckers to a big spider called Boss Seven-Eyes. Even Glogg got da Megamob back togevver! Dunno why he’s got a bunch of troggs dragging Loonshrines around on big chains, but some say that big ol’ Troggboss is on a secret mission from da Bad Moon itself.**
Skragrott even reckons he’s got a way of figuring out where da Bad Moon is headed next – bad news fer anyone who ain’t part of da King’s Gitz. Now dat Kragnos and Gordrakk are back to smashin’ their ’eads together, it’s time fer da Gloomspite Gitz to conquer da realms while they ain’t lookin’!
…we’ve also ‘eard da Gitmobs got bored of chasin’ pointy ears round Hysh. Those weirdos worship Glareface Frazzlegit, da bogeyman of burnin’ and blindin’.*** We’ve called a truce for now, ‘cause dey ‘ate ’umies, and lizards, and spikey ’umies just as much as we do. Plus, da Snarlfangs somehow know when da Bad Moon is near. Hear ‘em howl? It’s great news for us.
Don’t usually have much time fer ‘books’, but there’s a good one comin’. Battletome: Gloomspite Gitz is stuffed full of good tidbits concernin’ us grots. Make sure to grab it – and stay on our good side while you’re at it, ‘cause da Bad Moon is glowin’ brighter than ever, and we’z spoilin’ fer a fight.
* Dunno why. Takes all sorts ta be a git.
** Can’t get any sense out of a troggoth. They’re thick as rocks an’ eat too many cave shrooms.
*** You lot call Glareface ‘da sun’ or ‘da stars’, but we knows better. ‘orrible things! Too bright!