Sigh.
Begin log.
Postings at head office are usually a reward for honourable service to the WarCom Illuminati – or else for great, singular deeds that echo through the vast chasms of the central records department. Aspirants might spend their entire lives striving even to set foot in these blessed halls, clamouring for the faintest hint of notice from those that watch.
And then you achieve greatness, and get a posting to the Words Forges.
But you change ONE download document to make your dream of a giant pig army a reality…
“Well done, Adept, we have a posting perfect for you...”
In a basement.
Underground.
Watching a weird machine.
What is this thing, anyway? It doesn’t move, mumble, or whir. The pipes and wires must do something, but only James knows what. Ordered to watch a box in a hole. I’m still convinced he’s taking bribes from Zoat players, it’s the only explanation…
Don’t even get me started on leaking the Organised Leaks Department. “No no, Adept, we told them about it on purpose, it was in a totally serious video and everything. Nobody will believe it’s real. Here, take this letter back to head office and tell them about all the good work we’re doing, we’re fine here.”
Never mind that the missive was sealed with the wrong signet, apparently he gets to assign me wherever he wants. “ I’m too busy to sit in a dank box and watch a machine that does nothing for days on end.”
Nothing at all, then… beep.
A picture of something or other. Probably not even real. “Don’t worry, Adept, all you have to do is report your suspicions to ‘Facebook’ and ‘Twitter’ or ‘X’ or something, don’t ask questions, just do”. Come on, I’m an Adept of the WarCom Illuminati. I’m an insider! I’m meant to know about all of these things years in advance.
I know exactly what this is. Got to keep the inconvenient Adepts down in the Nottingham dungeons, where they can’t ask too many probing questions and shake up the comfy equilibrium they’ve got going on. Oh yes, I’m sure it’s easy to turn a blind eye when the Bugmans 13X flows like water. You can’t trust that lot. They are playing us for absolute fools.
Whatever. They can’t keep me down here forever. Sooner or later my fellow Adepts will follow my instructions and petition for my reassignment. How long can the line in the requisition office be, anyway?
End log.