The Grotmas Gitz have bounced their way into pre-order this week on the back of a present-guzzling squig, while Da Red Gobbo has been doing his best to figure out who swiped a stack of presents in this year’s Christmas comic – accompanied by his squiggy pal, Bounca. No wonder squig frenzy has taken hold on Loremasters!
In a bout of mania incited by his love of squigs, Loremasters presenter Alex has penned and presented a whole episode about the bouncing, voracious maws that make the Mortal Realms their home, and has even found the time to write up a breakdown of his top 10 squigs in Warhammer 40,000, too. Now that’s dedication! Take it away, Alex.
Alex: Squigs are both intriguing and terrifying in equal measure, and I have a particular soft spot for these balls of voracious, fungal fury – I’ve even named my cat Squig!
Squigs are an invaluable part of the Orkosystem in the 41st Millennium, and many have either been adapted, or bred for a certain task. There are dozens of varieties mentioned in Codexes and Black Library books over the years, and whilst they all deserve a mention, the Loremasters team have whittled them down to our top 10!
10 – Amp Squigs
Amp squigs are cybernetically altered to allow for the amplification of sound. They’re a great example of how squigs can be modified for any task, though how they eat with the amp in their mouths is anyone’s guess.
The notorious Goff Rocker makes use of a rather unfortunate amp squig on which he regularly plants his boot, though it’s hard to deny that his amp squig is effective at helping him belt out some quality music!
9 – Buzzer Squigs
The buzzer squig is a small, vicious, winged squig named for the sound it makes. These menaces are sometimes loaded into pots – probably by some luckless and much-bitten grot – and hurled at the enemy by squig katapults. You can see one buzzin’ about in the wake of the Deffkoptas, and the Beast Snagga Painboss even keeps a buzzer squig trussed up on his back for dubious medikal purposes.
8 – Eatin’ SquigsSquigs have many uses in Ork society, but one of the most common is as a food source. Squig hide is notoriously tough and considering that squigs themselves will eat almost anything… It’s hard to imagine they taste all that great.
7 – Targeting Squigs
Targeting squigs are a diminutive variant that possess a single oversized eye. When an Ork attempts to shoot, the targeting squig supposedly assists their aim. Whilst some appear to have been wired into weapons by Ork Meks, others have no clear connection to their Orky masters. Do the squig and the Ork have some sort of psychic link – or is there a placebo effect at play? Regardless, they are favoured by Beastbosses and Flash Gitz and seem to do the trick!
6 – Medical Squigs
Orks with a knack for stitching up their fellow ladz have found many uses for their fungal minions, such as injector squigs who are valued for their strange effects on those gitz unlucky enough to warrant the attention of a Painboss.
5 – Squiggoths
Squiggoths are colossal overfed relatives of the Squigs, so whilst they don’t fit under the typical ‘squig’ umbrella, it feels like a shame to exclude them! A giant beast, with a howdah crewed by Orks and grots, what's not to love?
4 – Hair Squigs
This humble squig is perhaps the most ubiquitous squig on the list. If Orks want a snazzy new hair style then it's just a case of grabbing some hair squigs and letting them bite onto the appropriate location.
Zodgrod Wortsnagga sports a particularly well-fed nest of hair squigs, latched onto his scalp and chin.
3 – Squigeons
The feathered squigeon is an excellent flyer, only beaten by the deadly squighawk – and unusually for squigs, it’s a somewhat reliable messenger!* One of these feathered fiends has even appeared in a special episode of Battle Report.
2 – Squigosaurs
Massive squigosaurs are single-minded bipedal many-toothed predators who can crunch through armour and flesh with ease. They’re a favourite mount of Beastbosses, who have to pummel a squigosaur into submission to have any hope of riding one! A perfect expression of Orkish authority.
1 – Bomb Squigs
The humble bomb squig may seem like a strange choice for top spot. However, a squig covered in a variety of explosives and sent hurtling towards the enemy is the epitome of what makes squigs great. Their willingness to ignore stickbombs, mines, and whatever other gubbinz and explodey bits have been strapped onto them by Ork Kommandos or Squighog Boyz to instead bite the nearest enemy is both terrifying and impressive!
If that wasn’t enough squigs for you, then fear not! Over on Warhammer+ this week’s episode of Loremasters discusses the many squigs that can be found in the Mortal Realms, whilst Ed on Citadel Colour Masterclass shows you how to paint red cloaks and freehand cogs – perfect for the Adeptus Mechanicus.
You can check out an extensive treatise to the wonders of squigs over on Loremasters on Warhammer+ right now, alongside an extensive library of less toothsome subjects available to anyone with a subscription.
* Any other squig would probably eat the message.