Like the inexorable advance of the Death Guard upon the doomed remnants of an Imperial world, its walls already crumbling under Nurgle’s caress, Christmas is coming… only much cheerier!
Neither the 41st Millennium nor the Mortal Realms are particularly festive settings, as each is filled with innumerable horrors beyond human comprehension. But somehow the Goff Rocker has cut through all of that and released a Christmas song!
This raucous ballad got us thinking – what if other Christmas songs could be kitbashed into a Warhammer theme?
What could be more festive than warming your hands on the burning fires of purgation while singing such a merry tune? Quite a lot, if you’re on the wrong end of the flamer…
In the Mortal Realms, meanwhile, the Gloomspite Gitz love a party under the light of the Bad Moon. With some convincing, they’d probably get right behind the idea of Christmas – so long as you got them properly scared of Santa’s terrible claws...
That’s an easy one to remember, even after a feast of festive fungus and shroom-sherry.
What with all the red armour, the followers of Khorne are very Christmassy! Well, a bit Christmassy. They’re Christmas-adjacent. The brass trim is a little like tinsel, if you squint. A very Khornate carol might sound like this…
Ah, err. Delightful? That’s the kind of song you might get a bit carried away with. Don’t let those World Eaters near the carving knives.
It does prove that a little bit of Heresy never stopped anyone from loving a good singalong, though. The Black Legion once whipped up their own variant:
Reports claim that Abaddon himself hums it as he stalks the corridors of the Vengeful Spirit.
Quite a lot of seasonal Warhammer songs involve lighting up Terra, but they generally refer to explosions rather than fairy lights. You know who loves bombs?
Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it? A wistful choir of Ork Boyz chanting long into the cold dark of the night…
Of course, Christmas isn’t the only festival being celebrated across the Mortal Realms. The Free Cities have a host of holidays to enjoy – why, the good citizens of Har Kuron are just now enjoying the first anniversary of their city’s unexpected annexation…
Got any ideas for your own Warhammer-themed takes on classic Christmas songs? Let us know on the Warhammer Community Facebook and Twitter pages.