You find all sorts of things sifting through the wreckage after the Great Gun fires, and having stumbled across a remarkably comfortable defensive emplacement stocked with fine amasec, we realised that the ratlings are back at it. Here’s another scrap of the Ratling Digest.
We ratlings are a sturdy lot – it’s why the Ogryns are happy to hang around – but there’s only so much that a hard eye and a full belly can do when bullets start flying and the greenskins are trying to put more holes in you than the Lord Marshal’s finest Mordian bloodgouda. That’s why every self-respecting sniper should know how to arrange a proper foxhole – whether you’re knee-deep in blasted ruins, drowning in toxic swamps, or trying to stay high and dry on an ocean world.
Behold – the ideal Ratling defensive nest. Your commanding officer may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
Stay Safe: While most of the xenos we shoot can’t see past the end of their pal’s nose, don’t go thinking you’re safe behind any given bush. They don’t make good armour in our size – fancy that – so the next best bet is putting a proper plascrete wall between a bolt round and your ugly mug.
Stay Fed: We don’t need to tell you how important a good breakfast is for keeping your hands steady – but just because we’re right, doesn’t mean the talls will agree. Stash your best tuck inside your ammo crate and don’t be afraid to chuck out a few power packs to make room. You don’t plan on missing any shots, do you?
Stay Comfy: You didn’t walk all the way here to sit on a sharp rock and be miserable. Get the big ‘uns to lug some sandbags into a nice soft pile, and shoot anyone who calls it a ‘booster seat’.
Stay There: No point in going to all that effort (directing your stronger and thicker Ogryn friends to dig your foxhole out) just to get up and wander around the battlefield – there’s a war going on out there. Live up to your reputation and shoot things really well from really far away, even if the Colonel comes around promising a fun adventure in the ‘killzone’ [sic?].
As for that foxhole, here are a few simple instructions to get all of that manual labour done in record time.
Identify a good spot, free of (too many) corpses
Collect human bones for relics, ossuaries, fetishes, etc. Keep good bones for trade
Call nearby Ogryn squad
Tell Ogryns that extra rations are buried here
Reward Ogryns for a fast and enthusiastic job with food (acquired from Enlisted Mess)
Furnish with superior equipment (acquired from Officer’s Mess)
Remember: Always dig a contraband pit to hide your stash when the Ruperts come around in search of their sponge cake and collection of fine ottomans. The bigger, the better – they have some pretty good stuff.
See you next week! Or maybe not, if the Cap has a dim view of our advice. Talls can never handle being outfoxed by a Ratli– [[TRANSMISSION DISRUPTED, END ASSIGNMENT. REPORT TO LOCAL MILITARUM HQ]]
