The ultimate rules lawyer comes to pre-order this weekend. The Codewright is a new hero for the Kharadron Overlords, a meticulous battle-scholar whose consummate legal skill and intimate knowledge of the fabled Kharadron Code can literally change the rules of engagement on the fly – making a tidy profit while he’s at it.
We’ve also discovered they do a nice line in legal advice to anyone in the Mortal Realms who can afford their services. In a naked effort to drum up fresh business, Warhammer Community’s in-house Codewright has graciously agreed to answer legal conundrums submitted by anonymous readers.*
Dear Codewright,
In a recent high-stakes negotiation, my business partner accepted my rightful ownership over the souls from all the dead in the Mortal Realms. Now I’ve learned he's taking them to make an army of elite lightning warriors. Surely this is a breach of contract?
--Soulless in Shyish
Unfortunately, your erstwhile contractee is likely well within his rights. Artycle 104 Sub-Amendment 1, ‘Ownership Rights of Deceased Property’, clearly states that souls – or soul-like substances, following the ruling of M. Thyrx v. Sarthorael – held in transit between the Realms of Death and Otherwise are not classified as ‘deceased’ until reception of goods, as defined in Footnote FB. Any interception of said materiel would be governed by the Passages of Plunder, Salvage, Flotsam and/or Jetsam – specifically Point 3, ‘Right of Greater Claim’.
In layman’s terms, if you want the souls for yourself, you are within your rights to ‘try and take them’.
Dear Codewright,
Our magmahold has fought long and hard to uphold the reputation of the Fyreslayers. Now there’s this guy romping around the realms calling himself a ‘Slayer’. He’s even got a bright red mohawk! This is clearly an affront to Grimnir and all the Great Lodges, but try as I might, I can’t beat him in honourable single combat. How do I get him to stop?
--Inflamed of Aqshy
Allow me to offer one of my rare pieces of free advice: Don’t. He may claim to be a ‘dwarf’ rather than a duardin, but by all rights, Gotrek Gurnisson – if that is his real name – should be as beholden to Kharadron law as any. Unfortunately, previous attempts to levy the right and proper legal system against this hooligan’s infractions have yielded nothing but curses, miscellaneous belligerence, and extensive unpaid repair bills. There are times the Code can aid you – this is, alas, not one of them.
Oi Codeboss,
Me an' da boys just ‘appened to suddenly inherit a load of gold coins – which is great, 'cos they’re dead shiny and yellow like Glareface Frazzlegit. Goblah says they belong to him, coz he's da one who spotted da caravan first. Krum says he ought to have ‘em coz he stabbed da most pointy-ears. Ogday says he’s owed coz he grooms and feeds da snarlfangs. I think we ought to just split 'em, but there's more than I can count – at least three coins, maybe more. What's your finkings on dis dispute?
--Hassled in Hysh
Firstly, let me congratulate you on your well-earned influx of liquidity – even if it is with aether-gold’s useless terrestrial counterpart. The Code includes a number of galkhron stipulations for when shares cannot easily be tallied in a numerical sense – including several expeditions wherein it was alleged (against all financial reason) that the real treasure was friendship, and one memorably devious precedent involving "as much gold as you carry" and Drekki Flynt's ogor hireling. Artycle 2, Point 3, Footnote 27, Paragraph C outlines rules for dividing homogenous plunder by weight – if your newfound resources include a set of scales, they could be put to good use here.
Under the circumstances, however, I would suggest you pool your wealth and invest – perhaps with a good legal advisor? While elgi complaints are seldom worth the perfumed ink they're written in, aelves are grudgingly entitled to rights in law, and I suspect they may take issue with your hostile acquisition tactics.
My dear Codewright,
In an earlier era, I earned a promotion to a major position of authority within my firm – yet after some trifling office drama, I was demoted in favour of some mere glowing-eyed mortal with a chip on his shoulder. I duly left to start my own business, but there seems to be an awkward non-compete clause that prevents me from claiming my due as Everchosen. What malign remedy might I seek?
--Peeved Prince of Shadows
In cases of employment dispute, I like to appeal to what I refer to as “the old reliables”. In this case, we can harken back to Artycle 1: The Rules of Governance. Point One states that “Leaders shall be chosen by proof of skills. No title of nobility shall be granted by the Kharadron Overlords. Titles and ranks are earned by mehret.” You seem to have borne the brunt of some outrageous nepotism, and therefore have grounds to seek recourse through the courts.
However, ask yourself this: do you really want to return to a firm with such loose standards? An ambitious and talented go-getter like you should be aiming much higher – I understand that there’s an internship position opening soon at my own firm. It’s currently unpaid, but think of the experience you’ll gain!
Dear Codewright,
Doing my accounts this year, it seems I’ve overpaid on the latest bone-tithe. Are tithe-payers entitled to a rebate?
--Written With One Hand
An interesting one – the tithe of bones does indeed constitute a binding contract within the bounds of the Ossiarch Empire. My knowledge of the uzkulrik legal system is limited, but it appears that the contract does not cover the ligaments or any other matter approximal to the bone itself.
Assuming that you yourself are not an unquiet spectre or fanged zanguzaz, you are still alive. In the removal process, they will more than likely have gathered marrow, and you should therefore be able to claim recompense along those lines. In fact, I would say you’re owed interest. I suggest a strongly worded letter to your local Mortisan guild demanding your own arm back, plus a goodwill payment of at least one additional femur.
Dear Codewright,
My new neighbours are fly-tipping all over my pristine jungle, leaving pools of sick and gigantic living pustules everywhere they go. How do I evict them?
--Grossed-out in Ghyran
The prima facie argument here is that these malodorous malcontents are simply contributing to the overall swell of life in Ghyran. After all, what are rot and insects but the side of growth we don’t like to look at? This is why any right-thinking duardin prefers pristine sky-ports – or, in a pinch, a nice rocky mountain to tether to.
Luckily, I believe that you can apply Artycle 2 Point 1 here. “An act that does not make profit or lead to eventual profit is not worth doing”. Specifically, Sub-clause 13, Footnote 4 clarifies that as your neighbour’s actions are devaluing your property, they are culpable for an unconscionable loss of profit. The law will protect you, however you decide to deal with them. I’ve got a cousin in the Grundstok Corps with his own aetheric fumigator – I’m sure he’d be happy to smoke out your Nurgling problem for a modest consideration.
Dear Mr. Codewright,
I'm a Vindictor in the Hallowed Knights Stormhost. A few years back, I took out a policy with Arkwright's Life Insurance in Barak-Nar. Since then, I have been killed eight times fighting the forces of Chaos in Ghur. Each time, I have put in a claim – but they refuse to pay! They say that "reforging means you haven't really died", but I say they owe me eight lifetimes’ worth of Aether-Gold. Can you help?
--Heated in Hallowheart
Precedent set by the ruling in N. Penultima v. Azyr Board of Reforging determined that only Stormcast Eternals spending a period of at least twenty-four (24) Azyr hours within the Realm of Death may classify as abandoned goods and, thus, ‘dead’. Arkwright’s, as a well-established and respectable firm, has no doubt determined that all recollections of the soul were completed during this period. If you still feel underserved, might I suggest hiring capable legal counsel when signing your next policy? My rates are most competitive.
Thank you Mr Codewright, very helpful. As you can tell, it pays to have a Kharadron Codewright on staff for all sorts of potentially tricky situations. You can hire one of your own this very weekend – you’ll be chasing Black Coach injury claims in no time!
* Pursuant to Artycle 486, Point 4, Section 3, Amendment 14, Sub-amendment 12a, Footnote 64, vis: “Kharadron Code Artycles invented by Warhammer Community writers in order to promote model releases by way of meta-textual reference humour”.