Thanks to dem Wurrboyz there’s too many zoggin’ squigs around da camp, an’ I’ve already eaten enuff of ‘em today. You boyz need ta figure out wot we’s gotta be doin’ with all dese red gits, before dat mad Runtherd Boss finds out they’ve been eatin’ all his soopa-grots. I’s got ta make plans for da Waaagh!, so get to it ‘fore I start krumpin’ you lot too.
Welcome back to ‘Ere We Go, our regular article series on what the galaxy has to look forward to as the latest Waaagh! rapidly approaches. As you may remember from back when we first met them, the Beast Snaggas have found many ingenious ways to use squigs in their everyday lives, and some of them don’t even involve biting. With the Beast Snaggas army box we saw during Warhammer Fest Online just over the horizon, we’re taking a look at some of the other uses they’ve found for the ornery red monsters.
Blowin’ Fings Up
Bomb squigs, in addition to being a ‘right laugh’ according to most Orks, are an effective way of ensuring a payload of high explosives gets somewhat close to the enemy before exploding. Often herded alongside mobs of Squighog Boyz and ‘piloted’ by a particularly unfortunate Gretchin, these smart weapons are remarkably accurate by Ork standards and never fail to make a pleasingly loud bang when the bomb goes off.
‘Eadbuttin’ Fings
Being the violent, brutal creatures that they are, Beast Snagga Nobs often like to modify their squig mounts to increase the damage they do while barrelling into the enemy. This led to the creation of the smasha squig, a monster so outstandingly brainless that it takes an Ork of rare calibre to even herd the thing in the right direction. Their thick skulls (and remarkable resistance to concussions) make them excellent candidates for smashing headlong into enemy troops, augmented by the thick sheets of metal that are often crudely bolted to their heads.
Seein’ Betta
Few Orks care about whether or not their shooting actually hits their target, so long as the gun makes sufficient noise and looks flashy. For those that have heard of words like ‘accuracy’, however, several ingenious solutions are on hand to give them an edge over their enthusiastic but ineffective comrades. One of the more common is the targeting squig, hard-wired with the wonders of Ork science to make its master something approaching a passable shot.
It almost looks like the squig has been left to aim and fire the gun itself, doesn’t it? It must take a particularly important kind of Beast Snagga to secure such a complex device, and you’ll find out exactly who they are very soon.
Holdin’ Stuff
We’re not quite sure what that Dok keeps in their squig drip, but it can’t be pleasant. Given how the Ork approach to medicine generally entails stapling wounds together with whatever scrap is lying about, the long-suffering Painbosses that follow hordes of Beast Snaggas around are just as likely to have hooked it up there for a quick snack as for any medical purpose. They do still manage to be effective battlefield surgeons, however, so we’re sure they know what they’re doing.
Pullin’ Fings
Squigs can get rather big, as anyone unlucky enough to be on the receiving end of a Squiggoth charge can attest. Some of the larger kinds make perfect beasts of burden, with the brute strength necessary to tow large war engines into battle. What exactly are these contraptions? You’ll have to wait just a little bit longer to find out.
That’s all we have time for today, as the Boyz are getting fidgety, and it looks like everything’s about to kick off soon. You’ll get your first taste of the oncoming Waaagh! with the Beast Snaggas Army Box, including early access to the full Codex: Orks, arriving for pre-order this month. Join us on Saturday for our next Warhammer Preview Online, which is taking on a decidedly Orky flavour as we find out what’s been brewing in the Octarius sector.
